I remember when I first served as a church leader, I had confidence to do the work of the church well, though I was a little reluctant to perform that duty because of being restrained by my family circumstances. I always thought that there would be no problem for me to lead forty to fifty people because I was experienced and capable of doing leading work as I had been a leader in the worldly work unit for many years. Therefore, after taking over the work of the church, I ran around busily almost every day, going out in the early morning and not returning till late at night. My feet blistered and I had spent much on traveling expenses. However, one and a half months passed and no one had written the testimony articles; no one had been gained in the gospel work; there had been just a few host homes, and now only one left; what the life deacon reported were almost totally bad news. When the leader asked me to examine myself for why my work result was so poor, I shed tears of grievance and justified myself with the difficulties in reality, but I did not try to know myself.

At the time, my original self-confidence had already disappeared without a trace. Along with that, I became passive. I felt a leader’s burden was too heavy. I had to keep busy, I was swamped with the work, but I had no ways to do the work properly and effectively. So I wanted to back out. Thanks be to God! Owing to the moving of the Holy Spirit and the fellowship of the sister (the leader), I was kept from falling down in my passive state. However, I was still ignorant and perplexed about how to do the church work well. Therefore, many times I knelt before God and petitioned God to inspire and help and guide me and open up a way out for me. After my prayers, what I first received was the judgment and rebuke from God: “When encountering things, you are at a loss what to do like an ant on a hot pan—running round and round…. Judging from the physical appearance, you are adults, but the life inside is still the life of little children.” I bowed my “high-held” head in shame because I was exactly such a person as God spoke about. I had to acknowledge that my life was too immature indeed. But, how exactly should I solve so many problems in the church? Once more, I offered my sincere prayer to God. Afterward, I read these words of God: “As to the problems arising in the church, don’t always have so many misgivings. It is unavoidable that there are some mistakes in building up the churches. But whatever happens, don’t panic! Be composed and calm…. Supplicate more to me; I will reveal my intention to you…. Now no matter what you do, without turning back to me, you cannot accomplish it.” “I know the situation of each church like the back of my hand…. My eager intention at the present time is to train you so that you will grow mature faster and be fit for my use soon.” “As for the matters of the church, … bring them before me seriously and you will have the way.” God’s words were like a key to open the heart and made me feel greatly relieved, steady, and bright. I came to understand this: The problems in the church are arranged for me by God, and all of them have arisen with the permission of the throne. God uses the problems in the church to train me and compel me to turn back to him. In the past, I was arrogant and self-conceited and did things according to my own ideas and my natural disposition. With my lips I said God was almighty; but in reality, I did not have God in my heart and I took myself as the master of everything I did. When encountering something tough, I did not keep calm but only got worried and angry; and I never brought the problems in the church before God to seek their solutions. I believed in God but did not rely on God, so how could I not fail? How could I achieve results in the work? God’s chastisement and judgment caused me to know my arrogance and blindness. At that moment, I understood the real meaning of these words of God: “…if you rely on your abilities and your knowledge to pursue your career, then you will forever be a failure.”

Now, when I face the problems in the church work, I do not complain anymore. For I have understood this: If I rely on my worldly working experience as a leader, I will only come to a dead end in doing the work. Only by relying on God, looking to God, and seeking God in everything can I have ways to do the church work well.

Muzi

Dalian City