Whenever I saw that some brothers and sisters still lived a good life after they threw up their duties and returned to the world to make money, I felt perplexed: God said that he would not let off anyone who forsook him, but he hasn’t done anything to these people who have returned to the world. It seems that nothing may happen to me if I forsake God…. Thus, whenever I encountered difficulties in performing my duty, I always thought to forsake God. I knew it was wrong to think that way, but I was unable to correct such a state.

One morning, during my spiritual devotions, I read this passage in God’s word: “All those who do not pay attention to life but only expect God to perform signs and wonders are Pharisees! At that time it was the Pharisees who crucified Jesus. You measure God according to your own viewpoint of believing in God, believing in him if his word has been fulfilled but doubting him … if his word has not been fulfilled. Doesn’t this mean that you have crucified God?” After reading these words of God, I suddenly woke up: Actually, I have been seeking to see signs and wonders all along. I thought that those who have forsaken God should be punished right away. When I saw that they have not been punished but still live a good life, I had doubts about God’s word and also wanted to leave God. This shows that my belief is not built upon the word of God, but on signs and wonders. Am I not precisely a Pharisee of the present age who has nailed God onto the cross again? Then I continued to read: “When God performs signs and wonders, it will be the time for God to punish people and change the age, and even more the time for him to end the age. When God is doing his work normally, he will not perform signs and wonders. It is a very easy thing for God to perform signs and wonders, but it is not the principle of his working or the purpose of his managing man. If people all saw signs and wonders and God’s spiritual body appeared to them, wouldn’t everyone ‘believe’? … If he said that he would perfect people by his word, yet he performed signs and wonders, could it reveal whether people believe in him truly? So God does not do that.” At the moment, the knot hidden long in my heart was finally untied. Today, God does not immediately punish those who have forsaken him; his purpose in that is to better expose people, perfect people, and eliminate people, and reveal who are true believers and who are false believers. For the work God is doing now is mainly to perfect people through his word. If whoever forsakes God would be punished right away as I thought, then no one would dare to forsake God. If so, how could the good be separated from the wicked? God’s work is so wise and so wonderful! Today, inspired by God’s words, I have understood that God will punish those who have forsaken him, but at his time. When the day of God comes, he will surely punish them according to what they have done. If I keep on following with half a heart, in the end I will not be able to escape the punishment by God’s hand either. Having thought of this, I felt that I had been in so dangerous a state: I dared to test God’s nature and wanted to leave God. If it were not in the period in which God is doing his work in the flesh, I would have long since been struck down.

O God! From now on, I will equip myself with more truths concerning the vision and pursue to be one who has knowledge of your work. No matter what you do, I will firmly believe in your substance and firmly believe that your word is the truth, the way, and the life. Whatever you do is the truth no matter how it is contrary to my notions. I, a created being, should not have my own choice but obey and accept it unconditionally, and follow you right to the end.

Liujie

Dalian City, Liaoning Province