Since I accepted God’s end-time work, I always thought that when a person had the working of the Holy Spirit, he would have great enjoyment. Ignorant of the working of the Holy Spirit I always pursued that kind of feeling, but I had never gained it. Thus, I often lived in a passive state; I thought that I did not have the working of the Holy Spirit and so I was not one of those whom God wanted to save.

Once at a meeting, a sister fellowshipped about how greatly she was moved by God and what a great enjoyment she received during her prayer…. After hearing that, I thought, “How come I do not have that kind of feeling? It seems that I indeed do not have the working of the Holy Spirit….” The more I thought, the more depressed I felt. “As I do not have the working of the Holy Spirit, my previous prayers and my eating and drinking God’s word will all be in vain and I will definitely be eliminated by God. Since I will die sooner or later, I will simply give up my pursuit.” Since I had such a thought, I discontinued my morning prayer and was reluctant to have the church life. Gradually, I even was unwilling to eat and drink God’s word, felt everything disagreeable, and felt my heart empty and no joy of living.

Just when I could hardly bear the pain, God guided me: the truth can resolve all of man’s problems. So, I opened the book of God’s word, and I read these words: “…all supernatural things, such as, how greatly people may be moved by the Holy Spirit, what great happiness people can enjoy, going to the third heaven, what great enjoyment people can receive when practicing at ordinary times, and what great enjoyment people can receive when reading God’s word, are unrealistic. The Holy Spirit always works in a normal and very realistic way. When you read God’s word and pray, you feel brightened and secure within, feel free from being disturbed by outward things, only want to love God and contact positive things, and loathe the evil world. This means that you are living in God. You will not receive the great enjoyment as spoken of by some people. All those sayings are unrealistic.” “Of course, in the present age, the Holy Spirit still gives people some moving for them to enjoy and lives with people, which produces the special feelings of enjoyment you often have in your life.” God’s words cured my spiritual disease and cleared up my misgiving of many days. I had this understanding: When one receives the working of the Holy Spirit, he does not, as I imagined, have a very great enjoyment. The Holy Spirit works in a normal and realistic way and does not work supernaturally. Today, when reading the words of God, I can relate them to my state, solve my actual difficulties, and feel secure and brightened. Doesn’t this prove that I have the working of the Holy Spirit? Not until then did I realize that the “enjoyment” I pursued before was only my own imagination and it was something vague and discordant with God’s word. Besides, I understood that the sister could receive that kind of moving and it was also because the Holy Spirit worked on her, but that only occurred at some special moments, for the Holy Spirit does not always work like that. I had that imagination about the working of the Holy Spirit simply because I took the special case of the sister as a general one. Wasn’t my thought too unrealistic? Through the matter, I also realized this: When a person is not clear about the truth of a certain aspect, he has to seek to understand it in God’s word on his own initiative; according to his imagination or some specific matters, he can only make wrong judgments which will only entrap himself and bring loss to his life.

O God, thank you! It is your words that have corrected my erroneous knowledge and led me out of the vagueness and my passive state. O God, no matter what happens to me or what difficulty I encounter in the future, I will never again treat it according to my own imagination; I am only willing to view things in light of your word and live by your word.

Xin Ming

Tangshan City, Hebei Province