Since I accepted this stage of God’s work, I had never carefully read the man’s fellowship attached to The Summary of Christ’s Preachings and Conversations. I always thought that those words, though good, were the fellowship of a man after all, so if I wanted to be saved I’d better read the word of God.

Not long ago, God’s family distributed two pieces of fellowship of the man used by the Holy Spirit. While I was reading the fellowship, I could no longer contain my arrogance, self-rightness, disobedience, and discontentment. I was murmuring: “How can the brother speak in this way? It seems that he is always lecturing others; and he always says that from this matter he has seen some problem in this person and from that matter he has seen some problem in that person. Why doesn’t he say he has seen some problem in himself?” Just in this way, I finished reading the two pieces of fellowship with enormous resistance and felt that the brother spoke on a wrong position. When I stuck to my viewpoint, I became darkened inside: I could neither receive any inspiration and enlightenment in reading God’s word nor receive any moving of the Holy Spirit in singing hymns and praying, nor could I draw near to God. I was in no mood to do anything, as if I had lost my soul.

Just at that time, a sister visited me, so I told her my state as it was. After hearing my words, the sister fellowshipped with me: “The man used by the Holy Spirit is the one who has been made perfect by God in advance. He himself has undergone a process of suffering and refining in which he changed from being corrupt to having been transformed. He has deeply realized that man has been corrupted too seriously by satan. In order that brothers and sisters may walk a less zigzag way in their experiences, he has written down his own experiences and knowledge. All that he fellowships are his personal experiences and are after God’s heart. He sometimes speaks in a stern tone and that is because while following God, he himself has seen that God has expended an extremely great painstaking effort and has paid a great price in saving men, but men’s heart is so numb that they do not care for God’s intention at all. He has no choice but to speak in a stern tone to arouse people, so that they will expend for God with a genuine heart. His speaking in such a tone doesn’t mean that he stands on a wrong position but that he cares for God’s eager intention to save man, worries what God worries, and thinks what God thinks.” Then the sister opened the book of God’s word and read these words: “Because no one can directly understand God’s speech or God’s intention, God has raised up a man used by him to do such work. The man used by God can also be said to be a go-between through whom God leads people, an ‘interpreter’ through whom God communicates with people. … As far as the substance of his work and the background of his being used are concerned, the man used by God is raised up by God, is prepared by God for his work, and is one who cooperates with God Godself in doing the work. His work cannot be done by any other person in his stead and is an indispensable work of human cooperation while the work of divinity is being done. … However, the man used by God is one prepared by God, who possesses certain qualities and has humanity. He has been prepared and made perfect by the Holy Spirit ahead of time and is led completely by the Holy Spirit. He is directed and governed by the Holy Spirit, especially in doing the work. Therefore, he cannot err while leading God’s chosen people because God will be responsible for his own work and he is doing his own work all the time.”

Only then did I have a clear understanding. Actually, the man used by the Holy Spirit is the one raised up by God to cooperate with God’s work. He has been prepared and made perfect by God ahead of time to lead and shepherd us. His work is completely guided and directed by the Holy Spirit and is governed by God. What he fellowships is what he has already experienced. When he fellowships that he has seen some problem in a certain person, isn’t he leading us to develop discernment and teaching us how to see through substance of problems? Isn’t he helping us to know what are not after God’s heart on us? Since he has been made perfect by God, of course his viewpoints on things and his ways of doing things are definitely after God’s heart. So, when seeing someone doing something against the truth or harmful to God’s family, how would a person after God’s heart be happy or approve of him or greet him with a smile? I was really too blind, too unreasonable! I did not seek to get help from the brother’s fellowship about the truth, but on the contrary, I deliberately tried to find fault with the tone of his speaking. This shows that I did not love the truth and was unreasonable. I myself have no organ to understand God’s word, yet I refused to follow the brother’s way of experiencing successfully. I was really too arrogant and ignorant! O God, thank you for inspiring me to understand this truth. I realize that I am an arrogant, conceited, and supercilious person without the truth in heart, and also see that I have lost so many chances to understand and gain the truth. O God! I am willing to forsake my inner arrogant nature, learn to get help from the fellowship of the brother, and pursue to be a humble and obedient person who seeks the truth.

Zhong Qian

Zhengzhou City, Henan Province