At a fellowship meeting, the brothers and sisters all talked about their fatal corruptions; and they fellowshipped that if one wanted to be made perfect, he had to put considerable effort into dealing with his fatal corruption, and that whoever dared to swear to God on his fatal corruption was a most backboned person, a person who had the courage to be perfected by God. Then, all the brothers and sisters swore to God except me. I did not dare to swear because I was afraid that once I swore an oath but later broke it, God would punish me according to my oath. After I came back home, I felt rebuked inside all the time. So, I read the fellowship about swearing: “Today our swearing before God is to declare our resolutions according to the righteousness of God, and it is also to encourage us to side with justice. Such swearing is meaningful; it can play an active part in our practicing the truth to satisfy God, and it is completely after God’s heart’s desire. Man has a corrupt nature and is apt to become passive, draw back, and be restrained by his flesh. But on the other hand, man is afraid of being punished and of disasters. This is man’s fatal weakness. Swearing is very effective in solving man’s corruptions. After swearing, one no longer dares to be slothful and passive but will strive to make progress to satisfy God, for fear that he may act not after God’s heart and God will punish him according to his oath. In this way, swearing becomes man’s greatest motivating force in entering into the truth and having his nature transformed…. As God said, those who dare not swear are cowards. If one really dare swear, this shows that he has a great resolution and faith to satisfy God. Whoever dare not swear is a sluggard and coward who does not love the truth and genuinely love God. Such a person will accomplish nothing and has no prospects.” Having known the significance of swearing, I realized that God’s intention was not to put man to death through man’s swearing; rather, in light of man’s fatal corruption—fearing to be punished, God requires man to swear so that man can pursue the truth. Then I recalled the scene that the brothers and sisters daringly swore to side with the truth. I could not help bowing my head in shame: Am I willing to be a sluggard and a coward and let satan sneer at me? No, absolutely not! So, I nerved myself to swear an oath to God: “O God, emotion is my fatal corruption. It is an obstacle, a stumbling block to my life entering. From now on, I am willing to transcend my emotion and obey all your arrangements. If I am disobedient to you due to my emotion, may you severely punish me and make my heart and lungs decompose.”

The swearing was truly useful! Not long after that, the small-district leader told me that I was assigned to leave my home to perform my duty. At that, I was greatly disturbed and thought: I can’t bear to leave my husband alone at home! When I just wanted to refuse the duty, I suddenly remembered the oath I took before God—“If I am disobedient to you due to my emotion, let my heart and lungs decompose.” And God’s words also occurred to me: “Do you think your tongue can vow and swear to me casually? How can you swear by the throne of me the Most High? Do you think your oaths have all passed away? I tell you, even if your flesh passes away, your oaths will not be nullified. At the end, I will condemn you according to your oaths. …” I was afraid: If I refuse God’s commission and break my oath, am I not seriously disobedient to God? God’s nature does not tolerate man’s offense. God will certainly punish me according to my oath. Having thought of these, I smothered the rejection words upon my lips.

Then, I left my home and dropped the worldly encumbrances to expend for God full time. During these several years, whenever I wanted to give in to my emotion, the oath of that day rang in my ears so that I dared not get slack. Although for that I have undergone many sufferings of refining, have grieved, and have shed tears, yet I have gained many more truths. Now, whenever I think of what I have gained, I feel infinitely pleased and cannot help sighing with great gratification: A person like me, who am very emotional and lacking in resolution, can follow God till today and this is entirely the result achieved by swearing. Swearing is indeed my greatest motivating force in entering into the truth and having my nature transformed.

Xiaohui

Nanyang City, Henan Province