I believed in Jesus along with my mother when I was a little child. In 1989, I joined the Three Grades of Servants Church. At that time, it was often preached that the way the servant and the maidservant walked was the way of suffering that the Lord Jesus had walked, and that the servant was Moses or Paul. Gradually, my love for the servant exceeded that for my parents, and even exceeded that for the Lord. I believed that only through the leading of the servant and the maidservant could we enter the kingdom of heaven and that obeying the servant and the maidservant was obeying the Lord. In 1990, I quit school. Because I was willing to pursue, the servant thought very highly of me and soon began to take me with him when he went to other places to work. Later, I was promoted to watcher and was in charge of the work in Hunan and Guangdong Province. I managed about thirty co-workers and shepherded five thousand brothers and sisters. Nurtured by the servant and the maidservant, I became more and more zealous in serving the Lord. And I thought that I would surely receive greater blessings in the end if I worked hard in this way.

After several years of prosperity, without knowing why, our church gradually became desolate. One day in October 1997, the servant called me, saying, “Xiao Zhao (a maidservant of the Three Grades of Servants Church) has become an apostate, and many co-workers also left with her. Don’t receive her from now on. Hold on to our true way.” I was astonished at that. “Sister Zhao is so loyal to the servant. She testifies for the servant every day about how much he has suffered. How could she have left?” Later, one day, a co-worker whom I was very familiar with called me and told me secretly that sister Zhao left because the servant asked her to kill someone. Hearing that, I felt extremely perplexed: Could our servant, whom all people look up to and all men follow, be an “executioner”?

Before that matter was over, the church gave emergency notice. The servant called the co-workers and me together and said, “Now there arises a sect called ‘Eastern Lightning.’ That gang of people are extremely aggressive. They go everywhere to induce people to join them and they say that God has come. Quite a lot of people have been deceived by them. You must be cautious and hold on to our true way.” Having heard the servant’s “preaching” and searched many scriptures, I foolishly believed that these things had fulfilled the scriptures and that the departure of Xiao Zhao and some others had also fulfilled the words “in later times some will abandon the faith.” So, I continued observing what we often preached before: “We only acknowledge the way and not man.” I thought to myself, “It’s all right as long as our way is right. Who does not have transgressions?” So, the shadow cast on my mind by the information that the servant asked sister Zhao to kill someone gradually disappeared. I took the co-workers to close the churches everywhere to outsiders, not allowing the brothers and sisters to receive people carelessly or fellowship with any outsiders, including their parents. Wherever I went, I emphasized that only our way was the true way and that the servant and the maidservant shed tears and suffered imprisonment for our sake, so we should follow the servant to the end and obey the will of the Lord. However, although the co-workers and I guarded the churches every day, we did not stop the footsteps of those who preached the work of Almighty God.

One day, a pillar (the head of the churches in one area) told me that Sister XX had accepted “Eastern Lightning.” So we immediately went to her home. I questioned her, “Have you accepted ‘Eastern Lightning’?” She answered, “Yes. God is an ever-new and never-old God. Could he stop doing his work?” I said fiercely, “I don’t care whether the work is stopped or not, but when the Lord comes, the servant and the maidservant will first know it. Since neither of them knows it, how could the Lord have come back? You have been deceived!” The pillar who came with me also persuaded her, saying, “Sister, turn back quickly. Only our way is the true way. The servant is the master of our flesh. Without his leading, we cannot enter the kingdom of heaven.” But though we fellowshipped a lot, the sister was not affected. So we thought that she had been poisoned too deeply and was already irredeemable.

A few days later, a co-worker called me and said that the pillar had taken over twenty brothers and sisters and joined “Eastern Lightning.” Hearing that, I thought there was something wrong with my ears so that I had heard it wrong. I thought to myself, “I had just met her before I came here. She stood very firmly on this path, and she said that she would follow the servant and the maidservant to the end even if there was only her left. How come she has changed so quickly? What kind of power made her leave the servant?” I hated the pillar for having no stand and being so easily swayed, and I even more hated “Eastern Lightning” for stealing the sheep from our church. So we immediately took actions. We gave notice to all the places this sister knew, telling the brothers and sisters not to receive her or let her in but to drive her away if she came. And we began to fast and pray for the church, asking the Lord to stop the footsteps of the wicked and look after the flock. Yet all that was to no avail. Still many people who had followed the Lord for many years were snatched away by “Eastern Lightning.” I learned from the servant that those people joined “Eastern Lightning” because they were given a lot of money and the people of “Eastern Lightning” would give them whatever they asked for. At that time, I thought, “Having believed in the Lord for so many years, they now left only for some money. Hasn’t their belief in the Lord been in vain? How is that possible?” But then I thought, “The servant’s words won’t be wrong.” So, I believed the servant’s words once again. To defend the true way and win the people’s hearts, I wantonly publicized wherever I went: “‘Eastern Lightning’ uses money to draw people in and deceive people. They are not believers in God at all.”

In June 1998, I was transferred to work in the area of Hebei Province and Beijing City. Before I had visited all the churches that I should visit, I heard that the servant and the key heads of the Three Grades of Servants Church were all arrested. Although I was weak because of that, I thought that during the servant’s absence I had to keep the field and protect the flock properly. So, I intensified my resistance against the work of Almighty God. At that time, several sisters in Beijing also joined “Eastern Lightning.” After I heard that, I took a co-worker with me and went to have a fellowship with them. But no matter what we fellowshipped, they refused to turn back. And they said, “We have finally found the true God. We will no longer be controlled and dominated by man.” Seeing that it was hopeless to save them, I expelled them from the church and ordered all others to reject them. After the servant and some key co-workers were arrested, the people of “Eastern Lightning” came to our church and snatched all the good sheep away. At that time, the Three Grades of Servants Church was in a state of utter chaos: The church became desolate and no longer had the working of the Holy Spirit. The co-workers intrigued against each other for power and position, and most of the brothers and sisters were weak and feeble. Some no longer attended meetings, some spent their time watching TV and playing mahjong, and the church had almost become society. Faced with that situation, I felt afraid and uneasy, and my heart was filled with emptiness and helplessness. I also wanted to leave the church and return to the world, but I feared that the Lord would cast me away when he came. I thought to myself, “I have walked nine-tenths of the path. Won’t my belief in God be in vain if I give up walking the remaining one-tenth? Won’t my many years of serving God be futile? Won’t I become a hired worker?” At that time, I had no way to serve the Lord, feeling that my future was bleak and dim, yet I dared not return to the world either. Just when I was in a dilemma and felt most helpless, God’s great love once again came upon me who was disobedient, arrogant, foolish, and ignorant.