I was formerly one of the dedicated team co-workers of the Wilderness Church in Qing’an County, Heilongjiang Province. In 1994, I believed in the Lord through grace. Inspired by the Lord’s love, I pursued very hard, and several months later, I began to preach. Only one year later, I formally led the brothers’ meeting and the youth meeting. From then on, I studied the Bible even harder, and I gave up my prosperous business to dedicate and expend myself for the Lord with all my heart and strength. As time went by, all these became my capital for pride. I became more and more arrogant and self-contained, smugly believing that I was the one with whom God is most pleased.

At the end of 1996, just when I wanted to make an all-out effort to work for the Lord, I saw that the unhealthy tendencies in our church became more and more serious: The brothers and sisters contended with each other overtly and covertly for position and money all day long; the lectern had become an emplacement; the co-worker meeting had turned into an envy meeting; and I was also drawn into that whirlpool in spite of myself. I thought to myself, “If this continues, won’t I be assimilated by this evil tendency?” Because of that, I left the church and immersed myself in studying the Bible at home. After that, under my influence, over twenty area co-workers and dedicated co-workers also left the church one after the other.

In the fall of 1997, I joined the Lord’s recovery. But not long afterward, I saw the same situation in the Lord’s recovery. To avoid being involved in strife, I refused to accept any position it offered to me. Because I was attracted by the Recovery of the Bible and the life-studies written by Brother Lee, I cared about nothing and only exerted my utmost strength to read and equip myself. I thought to myself, “As long as I make efforts, I will be commended by the Lord all the same.”

One day at the end of 1999, a brother of the Lord’s recovery who had accepted God’s new work of the last days suddenly came to visit me. I treated him with scorn and thought to myself, “Only you can be deceived by ‘Eastern Lightning.’ Today you want to deceive me into your evil way just by your little knowledge of the Bible—no way! If you want to talk, just talk. It doesn’t matter how many hours you talk. When you have talked enough, all I have to do is to refute you in a few words.” At that time, the brother said to me, “The Lord has returned and has done the work of reaping, judging, and reuniting all into one. God has personally expressed the word to purify us.” Hearing that, I thought, “None of your eloquence, quality, contribution, and expending can compare with mine. Is it possible for God to choose you and let you know first when he comes?” So, I said to him with a smile, “It’s impossible. You have been deceived. If God had truly come, how could I not know it? If that were the case, God would be too unfair, and I would go to get even with Jesus.”

A few days later, the brother came again and brought along two sisters to fellowship with me. At that time, I just came back from somewhere outside the county and felt very tired. Although I felt an aversion to their coming in my heart, I feared that they would perceive I had no love. So, I forced a smile and fellowshipped with them. The sister took out a Bible, and I also took out the Recovery of the Bible as well as the Chinese Union Version Bible. I thought to myself, “Such a senior co-worker as I am, I cannot be defeated by you two ordinary sisters.” I said to them, “Since you say God has come, find the evidence for me.” The sister found several verses, but before she made a few explanations, I stopped her and said: “What you have fellowshipped doesn’t conform to the Bible. The Lord cannot have come. If he had come, how could I not know it?” Later, no matter what they said, I just turned a deaf ear to it. So they had no choice but to leave.

In the spring of 2000, those who preached God’s work of the last days came to my home many times and begged me to read the book and make an investigation, but they were all “declined” by me one by one. My attitude toward them had always been “staying away from them in heart and yet greeting them with a smiling face.” In that way, not only had I successfully maintained my presence as a senior co-worker and given a good impression of being a “devout saint,” but I had also achieved the purpose of disgracing them by “killing them with a soft knife.” I often thought to myself, “You just come. It will be of no use no matter how many people come. You are no match for me at all in fellowshipping about the Bible. You’d better all come to me lest you go to deceive others.” However, the brothers and sisters who preached the last gospel didn’t give me up because of my stubbornness, but instead, they still came to persuade me again and again. I felt puzzled: “Where does such great enthusiasm of theirs come from? They clearly know that I look down upon them and have been treating them in an affected and perfunctory manner, but they still treat me with smiles and persuade me time and time again.” Out of curiosity, I read that book. But after reading no more than a few pages, I returned it to them. They were so distressed and grieved when I returned the book. Seeing that, I felt very perplexed and thought to myself, “How could they have such great love?”