I was formerly a leader of the Independent Church, in charge of more than ten churches. By my ability to preach, to compose songs, to heal the sick, and to drive out demons, I showed myself off and became a “great capable person” and a “great favorite” in the churches and an idol in the hearts of the brothers and sisters. All the church affairs were up to me to have the final say. If I said “Yes,” the brothers and sisters dared not say “No.” Whenever I went out to visit the churches or preach the gospel, the churches would assign a special person to carry my bags or take my luggage. Wherever I went, the brothers and sisters would come from afar to pick me up and see me off. Just like that, I kept the brothers and sisters under my control. Without my permission, no one was allowed to go out to seek the true way or get in touch with strangers. Now, I have known that I was in no sense a leader who led the churches but in every sense an evil servant who indulged in the enjoyment of position, a mountain bandit, and the Beelzebub who hindered the brothers and sisters from receiving the truth and life.

Since 1996 when God’s end-time work was preached to our churches, I had been resisting, blaspheming, and condemning God’s work. I closed the churches everywhere to outsiders and specially assigned people to guard each church, not allowing anyone to receive or get in touch with the people who preached Almighty God’s end-time gospel. If one was found to have received them, he would be publicly exposed and disgraced. I would also hold meetings to criticize and denounce him, calling on every brother and sister to attack and reject him and forcing him to confess his sins before the brothers and sisters of all churches, so that he would never hold up his head again. One time, one of our church leaders kept me in the dark and secretly received the people who preached Almighty God. After listening to the end-time gospel, he was willing to follow Almighty God and also intended to bring the brothers and sisters in his church before Almighty God. After I learned it, I immediately brought along some believers and went to abuse those who preached the gospel. I slandered, humiliated, and created all sorts of difficulties for them, and I also cursed them loudly in prayer and asked the believers to drive them until they were thrown out. After they left, I rebuked that church leader and pondered how to punish him. At another time, the believers of our several meeting places were gathered together to celebrate Christmas. When I heard that a brother among them had received the believers in Almighty God, I dragged him out publicly and forced him to confess his sins. He was so frightened that he slunk off to a cave-house and hid himself. But when I found him, I dragged him out again and asked him to stand well-behaved before everyone and show himself as an example. I pointed at him and said to the crowd, “He has received the people of ‘Eastern Lightning.’ If I hadn’t kept a close watch over him, he would have followed them and led away the believers under him. Today, I make him lose face before you just to let you know that you should not be fooled by ‘Eastern Lightning’ again! In the future, whoever receives the people of ‘Eastern Lightning’ again will end up like him today….” Hearing my words, they were all scared, not daring to say a word.

I hindered the brothers and sisters from seeking the true way and frenziedly resisted and blasphemed Almighty God to an extent. I remember that on a Sunday in 1998, a brother came to preach God’s end-time gospel to me. That day I was just having a meeting at home. As soon as I saw him, I asked the brothers and sisters to sing songs of driving out demons and also called him a Big Gray Serpent. However, he said calmly, “God has already returned and done a new work….” Before he had finished his words, I pointed at his head and cursed, “Is your father a male or a female? It is written in the Bible: ‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name....’ Isn’t Father precisely a male? The one you believe in is a female; you are coming to deceive people. Go away right now!” Then, I drove him away before he even found time to explain. Later, many other people came to preach to me, yet I not only didn’t listen to them but also fasted and prayed to the Lord, asking him to seal their mouths. In order to preach God’s end-time gospel to me and in order to make me go and listen to the message, two brothers among them endured my cruel treatment all along. Since they came to our church, I had been forcing them to kneel under the cross and “confess and repent of their sins” according to my requirements. I accused them of having “lightning spirit” and said that they must confess their sins thoroughly. I also laid my hands on their heads and sang songs of driving out demons to cleanse their bodies. After a period of time, one of the brothers didn’t come anymore, and I wasn’t sure whether he had other things to do or whether he couldn’t endure my cruel treatment. Yet the other brother still came and even helped me do work and cook meals, never making any complaints or talking much. Once, we went up a hill to cut sesame plants. He pulled the cart up the hill all by himself and was tired out with his face streaming with sweat, but he didn’t say anything. He cut off sesame plants, bound them up, pulled them to my house, and carried them on his back to the roof. I not only didn’t show any compassion for him, but on the contrary, I still made him kneel before the cross and continue confessing his sins. I thought, “Who let you join ‘Eastern Lightning’? It is not unfair for you to be treated like this!” So, I didn’t have any feelings of guilt about what I had done and regarded my doing so as being completely after God’s heart.

I had never stopped resisting and blaspheming “Eastern Lightning.” I ran around all day long, busy with guarding against the “false way.” However, the more I did so, the less faith the brothers and sisters had, the less positive and enthusiastic they became, the weaker they turned, and the more often they fell. Some went to other places to work; some dozed or slept in the meetings; and the number in the churches kept on dropping. I also found that my sermon was dry as dust, having no guidance of God, and was all old stuff. I didn’t know why these happened and thus fell into great distress. So I prayed to God, “O God! Have I done things wrong? If I have done things wrong and have resisted you, I’m willing to confess and repent of my sins. Please inspire me, guide me, and point out the direction forward for me. I am willing to seek to understand your intention and bring the brothers and sisters before you.”

God is almighty; he knows man’s heart. As long as one seeks with a sincere heart, God will surely do the work.